“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are. “ Carl Jung
Amidst the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, we may seldom ask this crucial question: Am I too busy to grow?
Our personal growth—the self-actualization of unique personality — is among the preeminent purposes of life. Staying busy may develop our “resume virtues” but self-actualization develops our “eulogy virtues”
Authentic personal growth is the process of becoming who we were born to become. Maslow referred to personal growth as self-actualization. Carl Jung called it individuation, and individuation, for Jung is the “the privilege of a lifetime.”
Becoming Whole
Most of us are born to a kind of one-sidedness; we are gifted in certain directions. For example, we might be more oriented to an introverted or extraverted approach to life, or more oriented to the heart than the head, or more oriented to physical exploration than imagination. Each of these orientations is available to all of us, yet we tend to favor a few over others.
With personal growth — the individuation of unique personality — all orientations become more available. A one-sided life is limiting and inhibits the full expression of a unified personality. Staying busy — avoiding opportunities for growth, attending exclusively to a one-sided life — can impede the growth and development of the fully developed person we were born to become.
The benefits of personal growth are many: With individuation, we gain new awareness and perspectives to more smoothly navigate life’s many challenges; we gain greater tact and tolerance; we gain increased self-awareness and a deeper sense of purpose; we become better listeners, communicators, and empathetic individuals; we gain more meaningful connections with others.
Finding Balance
The challenge is to find balance. How do we stay actively engaged in a busy life and attend to personal growth?
We can learn to pay attention to the clues we are getting all day long. For example, we may notice that we admire someone we just met for certain attributes — maybe someone is especially friendly and welcoming, or especially attentive to practical facts. These can be clues — indications of what we are being called to grow toward.
We can stop to consider what feels missing in our busy lives. Those feelings can lead us to attend to what needs to be included more fully — perhaps reading, or intimate conversations with others, or engaging in sports, or attending concerts. There seems to be a kind of quiet “voice” within us that informs us of what is absent — what void needs filling.
We may develop what David Brooks calls “resume virtues” — achievements, awards, positions, advancement. But far more important are what he calls the “eulogy virtues” — the enduring and permanent qualities of who we are becoming. Who we are becoming is far more significant, both for ourselves and for others, than what we have accomplished. And as we individuate and become the authentic individual we were born to become, the achievements arrive more effortlessly.
The pace of modern life is not slowing down. But we cannot allow that pace to be our master. It may seem that what we are doing or accomplishing may be preeminently significant. But what we are doing is temporal, while who we are becoming can be eternal.
J. G. Johnston is author of The Way — The Religion of Jesus Before Christianity, The Call Within — Navigating Life With Inner Guidance, and Jung’s Indispensable Compass — Navigating the Dynamics of Psychological Types
